Change of Plans
“You’re getting too close.”
Siren sounded almost bored as she said it, propping both feet up on the side dash of the cockpit. Gwen gave a little smile, not taking her eyes off the readings display.
“Sweetie, if you’re starting to feel a bit smothered I’d totally understand. We can call a little break. I’d suggest seeing other people but, you know, that’s always been an option anyway…”
“Not what I meant,” droned Siren as she nodded out the observation port.
As if on cue, Parallax’s clipped tone came over the coms.
“Three more confirmed contacts. Cruiser class. Coming into formation with the previous five.”
Somewhere in the background of the coms Bit jibbered, “Not to point out basic arithmetic but that’s a patrol of eight, count them, eight Cerberus battle cruisers. Our chances of surviving an extended confrontation have dwindled exponentially to infinitesimally small.”
Gwen moved an errant lock of hair from her face as she spoke, “Quiet, Bit. Or it gets the ball-gag.”
Siren gave a little snort at that. She leaned back lazily and said, “You know Carstens is going to be stomping in here in any moment moaning about how reckless this all is.”
Gwen rolled her eyes but seemly ignored the warning. The Outlander had been right. Even though Omega had been the goal for Cerberus there was a lot of patrolling going on at the relay. And while the station was the closest significant habitat to the mass relay, having Cerberus ships patrol the area was certainly going out of their way. At this point, Omega station was looking more like a means to an end.
“Come on, we’ve done our bit. Relay scouted. Let’s report back to Princess Tianna,” said Siren.
“God, I want to buzz those clowns. Eight cruisers, Siren. Just a quick drive-by and finger. Glorious,” Gwen sighed as her hand drifted towards the throttle.
Siren deftly swivelled in her chair and placed a heeled boot over the thrust controls blocking Gwen’s hands.
“We’ll have plenty of opportunity to show our arses to Cerberus. But for now-“ Siren was cut off as Parallax once again came through the coms.
“Energy spike detected. Evasive action recommended.”
Siren quickly lifted her boot.
“They’re powering up weapons. They’ve fucking seen us,” she said.
“Bullshit,” hissed Gwen. “Not this ship.”
Suddenly Bit’s voice came through.
“Captain, that’s not the cruisers. You’re not going to believe this.”
“Bit, darling, I’m flying a ship that’s half chandelier,” Gwen smirked back into her communicator. “How about you try me?”
There was a brief silence and then Bit’s voice came through again. “Captain, the relay is coming online.”
Siren and Gwen stared at each other for a moment. Neither saying a word. Then suddenly they erupted into action.
“Change of plans!” whooped Gwen. “Setting course for the relay,”
“Parallax, all power to engines,” Siren added with glee.
The Joyous Gard lurched as it hurtled forward. Both woman worked frantically spurring the vessel forward. Moments later there was rhythmic stomping up the gangway.
“Door,” yelled Gwen.
Siren jump up and leant against the joining hatch controls to see both Carstens and Kibble storming down the connecting corridor.
“Captain!” yelled Carstens. He looked up in time to see Siren give a little wave then slam the hatch in his face. He barely had enough time to stop short, almost slamming into the painted sign on the door which crudely had the word ‘Pussypit’ scrawled across it.
Carstens hammered on the door.
“Captain, what are we doing? Why is the ship on course to intersect eight Cerberus cruises and an opening mass relay?” he shouted from behind the door.
“Change of plans, my good master-at-arms,” came Gwen’s voice from behind the door. “Know thine enemy and all that.”
Carsten turned to his krogan companion and gave a little nod.
“Cap,” shouted Kibble. “Unless you give me a really good reason, I’m going be breaking this door down.”
“Ever seen a Reaper before?” came his answer.
There was a pause.
“Ha!” he replied. “You’re on your own, Carstens.”
The Joyous Gard streaked through space like an iridescent dart. While the cruisers were closer, the Fractal powered ship moved with near unnatural speed.
“Ok,” said Gwen. “We spin past. Fire a few shots to piss it off. Quick selfie. And then lead it into the Cerberus ships.”
“The Outlander is gonna be so pissed,” laughed Siren. “We’re getting first swing at the Reapers, babe.”
There was the strange lurching sensation of a relay finishing it’s transition. The Gard was practically on top of the alien device having made a significant lead on the Cerberus ships.
“All hands,” called Gwen into her coms. “Prepare weapons. Get ready for the old, ‘one-two fuck you’ manoeuvre. Bit, start recording!”
No sooner had she finished, the relay opened…
And a thin stream of debris spewed out into space.
“The actual fuck?” said Siren. “What the hell is this?”
Gwen remained quiet for a while. She seemed lost for a moment then pointed at the recording display.
“It’s a message.”
Her finger rested on the screen highlighting a distinct yellow section of a ship’s hull.
“It’s the Normandy.”
Siren looked at the screen then grabbed Gwen by the shoulder.
“Change of plans. We are fucking out of here,” she said.
Gwen nodded, reengaging the engines.
“Captain?” came Bit’s voice over the speakers.
“I know, Bit,” said Gwen. “We’re rabbiting.”
“Captain, you’re going to want to hear this,” pushed Bit.
“Unless you’ve scientifically found a way to make this ship go faster through the power of libido…” she was interrupted by Parallax.
“I’ve picked a low emission from the debris which a believe to be a functioning life pod. Rounding down I believe that there is a 72.3% chance that there is a survivor on board”
The two woman at the flight controls looked at each other for a moment.
“Change of plans!”